Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
