im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Randomize
