Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
