we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
