dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
