We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
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