I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
