Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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