hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
