Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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