If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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