her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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