I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Randomize
