you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
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