Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
