he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
The convent might be a nice break from real life
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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