were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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