Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
