So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
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