i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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