Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Your penis caused this!
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
