Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
high people should be assigned attendants
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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