Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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