one word: firstdatebathroomanal
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
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