talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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