Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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