So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
