I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Randomize
