I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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