Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
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