guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
