If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
