yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
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