if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Randomize
