I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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