i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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