why didn't you poke me back
I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
