I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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