next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
He is an equal opportunity slut.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Randomize
