we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
