he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Randomize
