I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
I haven't been this sober since birth.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
