You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
That accounts for only three of the penises
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
