i'm signing you up for texting rehab
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
