i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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