Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Randomize
