You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
