Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize
