its not stalking. its research.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
