i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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