No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
Randomize
