playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
