weddingsv make me drug and hornr
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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