gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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