That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
