Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
