this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Randomize