ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Come share oat with me in your robe
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Randomize
