office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Randomize
