on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
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