Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Randomize
