and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I'm too high and old for this...
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize