guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Randomize