I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
