you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
