i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
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