anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize