why didn't you poke me back
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
